Stop Calling Amy Schumer’s I Feel Pretty Offensive

I had to write about Amy Schumer again. This is about body issues. Again.

People are already calling Amy Schumer’s new movie offensive. From the trailer. Because it is about a woman who only considers herself gorgeous only after she hits her head. Oh, come on.

Of course, it is not about that. Her character in I Feel Pretty isn’t allowed to have body issues because she is white, able-bodied, and of average weight. And?

No, seriously. I mean it. And?

I’m not an Amy Schumer fan. I’m not a hater, either. But this is my second piece to defend something she did.

There seems to be a set of rules that make you eligible to have problems with your body. And apparently, her character doesn’t qualify.

But who made these rules?

Look, in an ideal world, no one would have body issues. Body issues give you anxiety, self-doubt, self-loathing, lack of confidence...It’s not good for anyone’s psychology, or romantic and professional life.

But I’ve not met a woman – or man, for that matter – who didn’t have some sort of issue with their body. Regardless of race, body shape, gender and sexual orientation, pretty much everyone has a body issue or ten to a certain degree.

On a good day, we don’t care. We feel good. We feel gorgeous. We rock it.

On a bad day, we doubt everything. We feel guilty for caring about something shallow, but at the same time, we can’t help it.

I have more issues about my body now that I gained more weight. If I had this weight in high school, I’d have probably gone crazy. But guess what? I thought I had pounds to lose those days when I was 40 pounds lighter. Oh, the audacity.

If I’m being honest, though, I had every right to those issues. It was high school. It was all about friends, bullies, school, first romances and the fear for our future. Whether we looked pretty or not, whether we felt pretty or not, was a big deal to us.

I fail to see what is offensive about any woman, thin or not, having issues with herself. Did you know Michelle Pfeifer hated her lips? Did you know losing weight for Trainwreck was not Schumer’s idea?

Sure, you have the right the call it offensive- but not if you are also white, able-bodied, and of average weight. (Your points, not mine.) Remind yourself that the next time you look in the mirror and think something is not right. That you’d rather be thinner or fatter. That you had something different to work with.

In that case, you might not deserve to have body issues...by your standards.

Amy Schumer Is Entitled to Fat Jokes about Herself (And So Am I)

Me in 2017, August. Freelancing and a weak immune system took a toll on my weight.

I’m over 30, and I’m getting fatter. I’m not happy about it. I can joke about it whenever I damn please because it is my body and my weight.

I am, however, not the least bit glad when my friends point out that I have gained a lot of weight. No shit, Sherlock! It is not like my body got fat behind my back. I jumped two sizes. I have a mirror. I know.

Moral of the story? It’s my body, and I reserve the right to love it, mock it, hate it or just accept it.

Amy Schumer. Image via Amazon.

This brings us to Amy Schumer. First, let's get it over with Formation. 

She got a lot of hate with her Formation video. OK, so I’m white, and I’m not American. I also have never watched the actual Formation video or Amy Schumer’s parody of it. So this is not a post on whether Amy Schumer is racist, or whether her parody video was in poor taste.

This is a post on body issues, and Amy’s supposedly contrasting behavior when it comes to body positivity.

Now, I’m not Amy Schumer’s biggest fan.

For a long while, I never understood why Amy Schumer was a big deal. Some of her jokes are totally not my style. But then again, every comedian whose work I enjoyed has told several jokes that I find inappropriate, offensive or not funny at all.

I’m agnostic, so any joke Ricky Gervais makes about religion is welcome. And he is so good at it!  But some of his other jokes make me cringe. Not enough to make me quit on the guy, but enough to stop laughing and think “What the hell?”

The list goes on. But I don’t think any wildly popular comedian has been able to be hilarious AND politically, socially and morally correct all the time.

Same goes for Amy Schumer. She can be anything from mildly entertaining to hilarious, from totally acceptable to cringeworthy.

Amy Schumer has found a persona that sells, and she is milking it. Being offensive is a part of it. Just like Jim Carrey acts like he is from another planet whenever he is a guest on a TV show.

However, before everyone was outraged by Schumer’s Formation tribute, many were upset about her contradictions. Is she embracing body positivity, or not?

OK, facts:

Amy Schumer isn’t fat. She is not skinny, but she is anything but plus-sized. Now, she makes fun of how fat she is. She can. For one thing, she is a woman. Most of us have all had insecurity issues regarding our weight. She also joked (though I believe it was more stating a fact) that she was average in New York and fat in Los Angeles. Fair enough.

Then she reacted when Glamour mentioned she was plus-sized, and plus-sized women took issue.

Here’s the thing: Being plus-sized is not an insult. It’s not a compliment. It’s a fact regarding your weight. If you take it to extreme levels and call all curvy models plus-sized, you are part of what’s wrong with society. But calling Amy Schumer plus-sized on a popular magazine is just wrong.

Sometimes, I feel fat. And next to certain sizes, I look fat.

I’m about 10 kilos overweight, and that number is reached after considering my height, my weight, and my BMI. That’s how much weight my doctor told me to lose to get my insulin resistance under control.

I can sometimes call myself fat. I might occasionally feel fat. I’d be pissed if you got me on the cover of a magazine and labeled me fat. Or plus-sized.

This attitude might not be fair to people who are fat, and I apologize in advance.

If people are fat, and they feel happy about it, I respect them. Body positivity should be encouraged as long as there is not a severe health risk directly related to being overweight.

Doctors should not be quick to dismiss fat people’s problems and just send them home because they are fat, ignoring underlying issues or other diseases.

Being at a certain weight doesn’t mean you are healthy or not.

That said, Amy Schumer is entitled to her fat jokes about herself. We can’t censor everything. Then we wouldn’t have comedy.

Are her jokes racist? Yes, some of them are. Should she be telling them in a racially charged United States? Probably not. Is she hateful? I don’t think so. Maybe she is just improper.

Amy Schumer’s comedy is controversial and her attitude might be problematic. But of all the things that might you feel you can’t empathize with, this shouldn’t be one of them.

That said, what do I know? Of some of the things that I’m 100% confident about, my body is definitely not on of those.

Aging, Plastic Surgery, Hollywood, Life and Being Flawed Human Beings

Vanity Fair’s Owen Gleiberman wrote about Renée Zellweger’s looks in an article, and hell broke loose. Before pointing out what’s wrong there, let’s point out the obvious:

What is a publication’s chief movie critic doing discussing an actress’s looks?

Why is he not talking about the trailer (of Bridget Jones's Baby), or the expectations from the film? Why is he spending so much time on her looks? He is not a paparazzo, or a celebrity gossip writer. What he did goes beyond his job description in a ridiculous way, and whether he embraced her new looks or hated them (he seems stuck in a weird in-between place), he has no business writing that.

But forgeting who he is, and what he is supposed to be for a minute, and let’s talk about aging, plastic surgery and being human in an honest way.

Zellweger. Image via ew.com.

We feel differently about different things. You might think a person’s face is their business alone (and I agree with you), but you might also not be able to help yourself empathize, question and critisize. Not necessarily (with) the action, but what led to the action.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t see the big deal. She has always looked gorgeous, and yes, she does look a tad different from her Jerry Maguire self. You kno, like maybe a few years have passed? 

It doesn’t really matter why or if she had work done. I just hope she is happy with the result. It’s her face. We don’t have to like it. She does. If she is happy, then we can all bugger off. If she isn’t, we still have to bugger off, because there is nothing we can do about it.

That said, we are flawed creatures. We have opinions on things, and sometimes, we even have opinions on things we don’t have nearly enough business having an opinion on. Enlightning personal essays, reaction pieces, encouraging reactions might help, but we are still going to have those opinions.

I agree with a lot of what Rose McGowan stands for, but we don’t know if Gleiberman has any personal experience with plastic surgery. Maybe he considered it himself, but didn’t have the guts for it. Maybe, he is against it, and wants women to stop feeling pressured. Maybe, he is just superficial. Maybe, he just wanted all these reactions and having a ball. I don’t have a clue.

But....didn’t you have an opinion when Renee Zellweger supposedly got work done? Be honest with me. Was your mind completely blank? Or were you 

1)Oh, she was so pretty, she didn’t need to do that. I wish she hadn’t done that, 

2) You go girl, you look beautiful anyway, 

3)You look so much worse now! What have you done? 

And if you were a writer with an audience, would you be able to stop yourself from expressing your opinion, whether it was positive or negative?

Yes, three is admittedly worse. I was team 1 for a second, and 2 for the remainder, but I wasn’t minding my own business either way. I was happy she got what she wanted. I believed she was happy, and I thought if it was a cosmetic job, it was a job well-done.

I’m not an actress. But I’m in my 30s. And I worry about aging. Not constantly, but I do. I forget putting on my moisturizer, and I feel guilty afterward. I eat too much sugar, and freak about potentially growing cancer cells, and to a lesser extent, my upcoming wrinkles. I do.

It doesn’t mean I don’t worry about terrorism or hunger or wars. I do.

But we all have a set of serious, and relatively-speaking, not-so-serious issues.

I don’t want to age. I don’t want to die. I always want to be, look and feel healthy. I want to feel alive and as young as possible. Maybe Hollywood ruined me. Maybe I just love how Jane Fonda looks and want that as an example. I can’t help but admire if a man or a woman has had the discipline, luck, means and the genes to look 5, 10, 20 years younger. I like that Liam Neeson dyes his hair. I like that Dylan McDermott looks only hotter than he already did in his The Practice days.

See? It’s not just about the women. Yes, women have it harder in Hollywood, but men, if/when they refuse certain rules, or get out of shape or out of line, they don’t get hugs either. (This is my reaction to The Daily Dot piece.)

Do you know that there is an article somewhere online about Mel Gibson called The Man without a Face? I read it, and I felt awful.

Look, he is my favorite actor. I grew up with his movies. No matter what he does or doesn’t do in his real life, he will still be the actor who made me want to write movies. Be in movies. Live with movies. (I belong to the club that the more we ignore celebrity private lives, the happier we will all be.)

The Man Without a Face is my second favorite movie, second to Braveheart. (The third is The Crow, if you have to know.) And the writer wrote that maybe all the crises Mel Gibson had, from the extreme faith to anti-semitic slurs to alcoholism, is a reaction to how he lost his looks, and I felt so bad. About life and people in general.

Mel Gibson, from The Bounty. 1984. Image via knoji.

Yes, I think he is no longer the hunk he was in the 80s and 90s. Yes, I think he helped himself age badly with all the stress and the drinking but.... Comparing his apperance to a movie where he played a wrongly-accused guy with a disfigured face? Wow.

Mel Gibson, now. Also, he is 60. Image via usatoday.com

If Mel has really lost anything, then I am going to blame the industry. That’s harsh. It took what most people thought to a whole new level...

OK, so Colin Firth. Maybe he will get to play the lover to much younger women (and many younger women won’t mind because:

a) They had a crush on Firth at some point in their lives 

b) He is a fantastic actor – it’s an honor to share the lead or any screen time with him, really. (And yes, I’d be one of those women.) 

But Colin Firth looks, as handsome as he is, more appropriate to play Emily Blunt’s and Emma Stone’s dashing father then the man they end up with.

Firth might not be stuck playing fathers and grandfathers, but he will be playing more and more of those. He won’t be playing Mr. Darcy. He aged, and his roles will be reflecting that. Maybe not to the level MaggieGyylenhaal is feeling and facing, but he will, and he is. You don’t think people look at him and Dempsey, and wonder if Firth (born in 1960) is where Dempsey (born in 1966) is headed?

Dempsey, aka McDreamy, aka potential Bridget Jones baby daddy.

Colin Firth.Image via closerweekly.

Getting old is horrifying so many ways. You lose more than the elasticity of your face. You lose the momentum of your metabolism. You increasingly carry more risks for health issues, even though you take relatively okay care of yourself. You start looking different, even if it is not necessarily bad, it still is different. But most importantly, you become more aware of the passing time, the opportunities lost, the brave leaps not taken...and you start losing people. People you know. People you love. Sure, it could happen any time, but it becomes more frequent. You start worrying about the people you might lose...and you try really hard not to lose it, and enjoy what you have while you still can.

So, Owen G. wrote an essay he shouldn’t have written as a movie critic. As a non-actor. As a guy, to a certain extent.

But aging freaks out a lot of people, not just Hollywood stars. I wish I was over and above all this, but I am not. And yes, a starving child is so much more important and horrifying than a star’s looks or mine. So is a billion other things.

However, we all have our fears, problems, phobias, hang-ups and other issues. We are flawed. We often judge prematurely, attack fast and don’t stop to take a breath.

Men, it is a bad idea to write about a woman’s looks – especially if you are white, middle-aged, well-off and NOT a celebrity writer. (It’s still not very cool if you are a gossip columnist, but then, you have the excuse: It’s your job.)

Women, let’s embrace everyone’s choices, but let’s not forget no one of is perfect. We are not saints. We make mistakes. We have politically incorrect opinions. We have shallow fears as well as significant ones. I will be just as happy about an actor/actress who aged naturally about an actor/actress who went under whatever operation and came out the other end victorious. I feel feel bad about people who seem to have lost their gestures and genuine laughter lines completely.

I will fear about aging. But I still want world peace.

I’m superficial in some ways, and not superficial in others.

Let’s take a deep breath, help Hollywood against agism, but give a little breathing room to not-so-thoughtfully written fluff pieces. The writer might not always mean harm. He might not be aware of his own privilege. But we also don’t know if he wanted to be a star, and never could be. Or maybe his editors  told him to come up with something controversial, reaction- gathering, politically incorrect...

You don’t know. Neither do I.

By all means, let’s fight agism and sexism in Hollywood. But you know, without bullying, attacking or ignoring if possible.

Aging, Plastic Surgery, Hollywood, Life and Being Flawed Human Beings

Vanity Fair’s Owen Gleiberman wrote about Renée Zellweger’s looks in an article, and hell broke loose. Before pointing out what’s wrong there, let’s point out the obvious:

What is a publication’s chief movie critic doing discussing an actress’s looks?

Why is he not talking about the trailer (of Bridget Jones's Baby), or the expectations from the film? Why is he spending so much time on her looks? He is not a paparazzo, or a celebrity gossip writer. What he did goes beyond his job description in a ridiculous way, and whether he embraced her new looks or hated them (he seems stuck in a weird in-between place), he has no business writing that.

But forgeting who he is, and what he is supposed to be for a minute, and let’s talk about aging, plastic surgery and being human in an honest way.

Zellweger. Image via ew.com.

We feel differently about different things. You might think a person’s face is their business alone (and I agree with you), but you might also not be able to help yourself empathize, question and critisize. Not necessarily (with) the action, but what led to the action.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t see the big deal. She has always looked gorgeous, and yes, she does look a tad different from her Jerry Maguire self. You know, like maybe a few years have passed? 

It doesn’t really matter why or if she had work done. I just hope she is happy with the result. It’s her face. We don’t have to like it. She does. If she is happy, then we can all bugger off. If she isn’t, we still have to bugger off, because there is nothing we can do about it.

That said, we are flawed creatures. We have opinions on things, and sometimes, we even have opinions on things we don’t have nearly enough business having an opinion on. Enlightning personal essays, reaction pieces, encouraging reactions might help, but we are still going to have those opinions.

I agree with a lot of what Rose McGowan stands for, but we don’t know if Gleiberman has any personal experience with plastic surgery. Maybe he considered it himself, but didn’t have the guts for it. Maybe, he is against it, and wants women to stop feeling pressured. Maybe, he is just superficial. Maybe, he just wanted all these reactions and is having a ball. I don’t have a clue.

But....didn’t you have an opinion when Renee Zellweger supposedly got work done? Be honest with me. Was your mind completely blank? Or were you 

1)Oh, she was so pretty, she didn’t need to do that. I wish she hadn’t done that, 

2) You go girl, you look beautiful anyway, 

3)You look so much worse now! What have you done? 

And if you were a writer with an audience, would you be able to stop yourself from expressing your opinion, whether it was positive or negative?

Yes, three is admittedly worse. I was team 1 for a second, and 2 for the remainder, but I wasn’t minding my own business either way. I was happy she got what she wanted. I believed she was happy, and I thought if it was a cosmetic job, it was a job well-done.

I’m not an actress. But I’m in my 30s. And I worry about aging. Not constantly, but I do. I forget putting on my moisturizer, and I feel guilty afterward. I eat too much sugar, and freak about potentially growing cancer cells, and to a lesser extent, my upcoming wrinkles. I do.

It doesn’t mean I don’t worry about terrorism or hunger or wars. I do.

But we all have a set of serious, and relatively-speaking, not-so-serious issues.

I don’t want to age. I don’t want to die. I always want to be, look and feel healthy. I want to feel alive and as young as possible. Maybe Hollywood ruined me. Maybe I just love how Jane Fonda looks and want that as an example. I can’t help but admire if a man or a woman has had the discipline, luck, means and the genes to look 5, 10, 20 years younger. I like that Liam Neeson dyes his hair. I like that Dylan McDermott looks only hotter than he already did in his The Practice days.

See? It’s not just about the women. Yes, women have it harder in Hollywood, but men, if/when they refuse certain rules, or get out of shape or out of line, they don’t get hugs either. (This is my reaction to The Daily Dot piece.)

Do you know that there is an article somewhere online about Mel Gibson called The Man without a Face? I read it, and I felt awful.

Look, he is my favorite actor. I grew up with his movies. No matter what he does or doesn’t do in his real life, he will still be the actor who made me want to write movies. Be in movies. Live with movies. (I belong to the club that the more we ignore celebrity private lives, the happier we will all be.)

The Man Without a Face is my second favorite movie, second to Braveheart. (The third is The Crow, if you have to know.) And the writer wrote that maybe all the crises Mel Gibson had, from the extreme faith to anti-semitic slurs to alcoholism, is a reaction to how he lost his looks, and I felt so bad. About life and people in general.

Mel Gibson, from The Bounty. 1984. Image via knoji.

Yes, I think he is no longer the hunk he was in the 80s and 90s. Yes, I think he helped himself age badly with all the stress and the drinking but.... Comparing his apperance to a movie where he played a wrongly-accused guy with a disfigured face? Wow.

Mel Gibson, now. Also, he is 60. Image via usatoday.com

If Mel has really lost anything, then I am going to blame the industry. That’s harsh. It took what most people thought to a whole new level...

OK, so Colin Firth. Maybe he will get to play the lover to much younger women (and many younger women won’t mind because):

a) They had a crush on Firth at some point in their lives 

b) He is a fantastic actor – it’s an honor to share the lead or any screen time with him, really. (And yes, I’d be one of those women.) 

But Colin Firth looks, as handsome as he is, more appropriate to play Emily Blunt’s and Emma Stone’s dashing father then the man they end up with.

Firth might not be stuck playing fathers and grandfathers, but he will be playing more and more of those. He won’t be playing Mr. Darcy. He aged, and his roles will be reflecting that. Maybe not to the level MaggieGyylenhaal is feeling and facing, but he will, and he is. You don’t think people look at him and Dempsey, and wonder if Firth (born in 1960) is where Dempsey (born in 1966) is headed?

Dempsey, aka McDreamy, aka potential Bridget Jones baby daddy.

Colin Firth.Image via closerweekly.

Getting old is horrifying so many ways. You lose more than the elasticity of your face. You lose the momentum of your metabolism. You increasingly carry more risks for health issues, even though you take relatively okay care of yourself. You start looking different, even if it is not necessarily bad, it still is different. But most importantly, you become more aware of the passing time, the opportunities lost, the brave leaps not taken...and you start losing people. People you know. People you love. Sure, it could happen any time, but it becomes more frequent. You start worrying about the people you might lose...and you try really hard not to lose it, and enjoy what you have while you still can.

So, Owen G. wrote an essay he shouldn’t have written as a movie critic. As a non-actor. As a guy, to a certain extent.

But aging freaks out a lot of people, not just Hollywood stars. I wish I was over and above all this, but I am not. And yes, a starving child is so much more important and horrifying than a star’s looks or mine. So is a billion other things.

However, we all have our fears, problems, phobias, hang-ups and other issues. We are flawed. We often judge prematurely, attack fast and don’t stop to take a breath.

Men, it is a bad idea to write about a woman’s looks – especially if you are white, middle-aged, well-off and NOT a celebrity writer. (It’s still not very cool if you are a gossip columnist, but then, you have the excuse: It’s your job.)

Women, let’s embrace everyone’s choices, but let’s not forget no one of is perfect. We are not saints. We make mistakes. We have politically incorrect opinions. We have shallow fears as well as significant ones. I will be just as happy about an actor/actress who aged naturally about an actor/actress who went under whatever operation and came out the other end victorious. I feel bad about people who seem to have lost their gestures and genuine laughter lines completely.

I will fear about aging. But I still want world peace.

I’m superficial in some ways, and not superficial in others.

Let’s take a deep breath, help Hollywood fight against agism, but give a little breathing room to not-so-thoughtfully written fluff pieces. The writer might not always mean harm. He might not be aware of his own privilege. But we also don’t know if he wanted to be a star, and never could be. Or maybe his editors  told him to come up with something controversial, reaction- gathering, politically incorrect...

You don’t know. Neither do I.

By all means, let’s fight agism and sexism in Hollywood. But you know, without bullying, attacking or ignoring if possible.

Best Tools to Feel Fabulous at 30: WalkLogger App

I hit the dreaded “30” in December. It has mostly been a positive experience. Of course getting older, even though at these very young stages of adulthood, has its drawbacks. 

WalkLogger App

WalkLogger image via play.google.com.

One of the drawbacks is our slowing metabolism, which I handle with the WalkLogger app on my phone. It measures how much you have walked by how many steps you’ve taken on any given day. It also tells you how many calories you’ve burned. It resets at midnight and awards you with a bronze medal after 5000 steps, a silver after 8,000 and a gold one after 10,000. It’s often said that if you’re serious about losing weight, it’s better to aim for 10,000 steps every day. Which might be difficult, considering it’s something about 7,5 kilometres (around 4,35 miles), especially if you’re not very fit and/or have a sedentary job.

I’m proud to say that a couple of months after actively using the app, I finally hit (and passed) 10,000 on Friday. Granted, I didn’t do it all at once, and felt pretty tired the next morning. But the feeling was so worth it.

In theory, it should be easier for a freelancer to be more active physically, but in truth, not everything in my schedule is under my control. In between teaching ESL, freelance writing and screenwriting, I often realize time has passed before I could do a decent physical activity.

But because walking can be done anywhere and is free, the app has helped me a great deal and has proven to be a worthy challenger. I love seeing the numbers go up. And to make sure they do, I often take the stairs when I go down. I get off the bus a stop or two early. When I go to a café to do my work, I take a break after a session, leaving my not-so-valuable belongings behind (hence saving me from the turtle mode).

There are many other free applications for counting your steps. This is just the one I use.

For more fun tips on staying fit you can check out my other articles:

6 Fun Ways to Stay Fit for the GYM-Averse

How to Use Rock Music to Get Fitter

Stay Fit in Winter: Fun Winter Fitness Activities


To get the fun and practical on a regular basis, you can subscribe by email or follow me on Twitter. If Facebook is your thing, I’m there too.

In case you're wondering what my 30 looks like. It's me on the left. On the right is one of my best friends. 

6 Fast Morning Beauty Ideas for the Busy (College) Girl

The following is a guest post by Angelita Williams. Although the title includes the word college, the tips will appeal to all the fun-loving women out there who like to get more beautiful really fast.


6 Fast Morning Beauty Ideas for the Busy (College) Girl

Image via 123rf.com.

Every college girl knows that mornings are not the easiest. With all-night study sessions, parties at all hours, and loud dorm halls, getting up in the morning and putting yourself together is something than many college girls just don't have time to do. But, instead of just throwing on a hoodie and some slippers to slink away to your morning classes, try some of these quick and easy tips to looking your best, even with no time:

1. Shower the night before.

Instead of waking up early, showering, blow-drying and then actually getting to your morning routine, try showering at night instead. It's great for your hair because it has the time to dry naturally, and it's great for your body because you can wake up much later. Simply shower late at night and put your hair up into a high pony tail or top knot. Then, take it down in the morning for relaxed waves, or run a straightener through quickly for a cool, boho messy look.

2. Splash cold water on your face pre-makeup. 

When you're out of time in the morning and suffering from a long night (or too many cocktails) the night before, it's almost inevitable that you will wake up with puffy eyes and an inflamed complexion. Instead of wasting time applying creams or oils, just splash your face with ice-cold water and gently towel dry. This will instantly wake you up and reduce puffiness so your makeup looks better.

3. Use a tinted SPF moisturizer, not foundation.

Don't waste time in the morning struggling with messy foundation that needs to be applied perfectly. It's much better for your skin to apply a light SPF moisturizer that has a bit of tint. This will add some glow to your complexion and cover ruddiness and discoloration. It will also protect your skin from morning rays as you hustle to class.

4. Focus on brows and lashes first.

Forget eyeliner, eye shadow and the like when you're in a morning rush. The best way to define your eyes quickly is to focus on your brows and lashes. It's also the easiest way to look great fast. Simply define your eye brows with an angled brush, some brow powder, and brow gel. Then put on a couple coats of mascara to make your lashes extra-long. Your eyes will pop without any time-consuming liner.

5. Use an SPF bronzer to sculpt and protect.

Another way to look good on the go is to focus on sculpting your face, rather than spending time on blush and highlighters. Grab a good bronzer, especially one with a mineral SPF, and use it to outline your face, under your cheek bones and down the sides of your nose.

6. Grab a lip gloss and go.

To finish off your look, you can simply do the final step as you walk out the door. Grab a sheer nude lip gloss and apply it as you walk to class or wait at a stop light. This will add that extra touch and give you a nice morning glow, without the mess of liner or lipstick.

*

Angelita Williams works as a freelance blogger covering hot topics in www.onlinecollegecourses.com and college lifestyle. Feel free to contact her at angelita.williams7@gmail.com.

Do a Salon Manicure at Home with Fun Spring Colors

Image via bodycare.becomegorgeous.com

We all want to have some flashy, stand-out nails every once in a while, and nothing is more popular this spring that a well-groomed set of nails in a hot coral, pink, blue or mint green. The only problem is, if you’re going to go for a pop of color, the finished result really needs to look professional to get the right look, and that can cost you big bucks. If you’re low on cash, or just burnt out with heading to the nail salon every time you want a change of color, try picking out your own favorite spring shades and learning how to do it yourself!

First, you need to select the perfect nail color. Check out collections from American Apparel or Sally Hansen for easy-to-find inspiration.

Next, get your supplies together:

Polish in a spring color

Nail file

Cuticle Sticks

Cuticle clippers

Mixing Bowl

Clean towel

Exfoliating scrub (like a sugar or salt scrub)

Cuticle cream

Lotion

Nail polish remover

A flat soft-bristle makeup brush (for removing excess polish)

Finally, follow these steps for a perfect spring salon manicure, totally at home!

Step 1: File

Find a nail shape that you want to try from a magazine or online. Take a look at the shape and figure out how it will correspond with your natural nail. Make sure to contour everything to the shortest natural nail on your hands, so they will all be the same length. File inward with soft, short strokes until you get the shape you want.

Step 2: Moisturize Cuticles

Using your cuticle cream or oil, dab a good amount onto the cuticle of each hand. Then, use your fingers to rub it in.

Step 3: Soak Hands

Fill up your mixing bowl with warm water. You can add any sort of hand soak you like, such as bubble bath, bath beads, or body wash. Some people even use dish soap, and that works fine, too. Immerse your hands in the warm water, and let them soak for at least five minutes, preferably more.

Step 4: Exfoliate

After your hands have soaked for a while, take them out and slather them with your exfoliating scrub. Scrub your hands gently. Then rinse your hands thoroughly under tap water and pat dry with a clean towel.

Step 5: Shape Cuticles

The trick here is to push your cuticles as far back as they will go, so you can get the most bang for your polish. Using the cuticle stick, gently push your cuticles back, all the way around the nail. If you have hangnails or really thick cuticles, cut them (gently!) with your cuticle clippers. What you want is an effect that looks smooth, as if you have done nothing to your cuticles.

Step 6: Moisturize

Once your cuticles are smooth and groomed, you need to lock in the moisture with a nice lotion or oil. Pour a quarter-sized amount onto the palm of your hand and rub in, focusing on the cuticles. Once your hands are thoroughly moisturized, dry off the nail beds to prepare for polish.

Step 7: Polish

Before you start, use a cotton ball to dab some nail polish remover on your clean nails. This will get rid of any lotion you have left coating the nails. Then, start with a basecoat and paint a thin layer on both hands. Let dry. Now, you are ready for color! Paint two coats on each hand. After they have dried, finish with a high-shine top coat.

Step 8: Clean Excess Polish

This is the trick to getting that salon-quality look. Using your flat brush, dip the brush into the bottle of nail polish remover. Gently trace the outer corners of your nail bed to lift off polish that has gotten onto your cuticle area. Use the end of the brush to scrape of excess. Try to create a rounded effect that looks the same for each nail.

Once you’re done, let your nails dry fully, and you’re ready to go!

Author Bio:
This is a guest post by Nadia Jones who blogs at accredited online colleges about education, college, student, teacher, money saving, movie related topics. You can reach her at nadia.jones5 @ gmail.com.